We came across a Twitter thread yesterday that really resonated with us.

Written by comedian Ashley Blaker (whose permission we sought to reproduce this thread), it describes every comedian’s worst case scenario when it comes to a corporate performance.

2/9 The whole restaurant had been booked for around 50 mostly middle-aged north London Jews. After about an hour or so my wife’s uncle stood up and said they’d hired a comedian to perform. I didn’t know in advance but being a TV comedy producer at the time I was very interested.

— Ashley Blaker (@AshleyBlaker) July 3, 2019

4/9 He tried his best without a mic or a stage and I could see he had some very good material but no one was interested. In fact the audience behaved quite appallingly and used him for sport, heckling and trying to disrupt him.

— Ashley Blaker (@AshleyBlaker) July 3, 2019

6/9 My wife’s uncle was angry, not with his guests but with the agency who provided the comedian and said he’d be calling them to demand his money back. I said I could see he was good and that it wasn’t his fault the environment was completely wrong.

— Ashley Blaker (@AshleyBlaker) July 3, 2019

8/9 I booked the comedian on a TV show I produced a couple of years later and I reminded him about this gig. His face went white as I think he’d blocked it out. I don’t blame him. These gigs are horrible.

— Ashley Blaker (@AshleyBlaker) July 3, 2019

9/9 The comedian’s name is @iamjohnoliver and he’s now one of the biggest comedy stars in the US. The idiots in the restaurant just didn’t realise it.

— Ashley Blaker (@AshleyBlaker) July 3, 2019

It seems impossible that a comedian as talented as John Oliver could struggle in front of any audience but, sadly, lots of comics who have dabbled in the world of corporate and private performances have at least one similar story.

With that in mind, here are some top tips about making the most out of your comedian at your next corporate event, from the combined feedback and wisdom of the whole Avalon corporate roster!

Tips:

• Audience – it all starts with your guests. We often find ourselves chatting to event managers who are having trouble deciding between acts is. Our advice is “Think about who your guests will like, not who your CEO’s favourite’s panel show comic is”. Have a think about the mix of your audience too; their age range, backgrounds, nationality etc. A sober dinner of international senior bankers will require a different sort of comedian to a boozey sales audiences in their 20s; although there are of course those who can adapt to both!

• Time – this is a crucial point that is often overlooked. Does the event definitely have a slot that lends itself to a comedy performance? Is it placed strategically in the timeline of the rest of the event? For an after-dinner performance, 9.30pm is the sweet spot. Everyone has been well fed and watered and got some of their chatting out of the way – time to make them laugh! For an awards hosting role, keep the opening set short and consider what time you need the act there  – do they really need to be on site for a 2pm rehearsal and a 9.30pm start, or can things be switched around to make everyone comfortable? In addition, more minutes doesn’t necessarily mean more enjoyment or better value for money. 20 minutes is the absolute optimum time for an after-dinner performance – long enough for everyone to feel they’ve had their own private show but short enough to hang on to those flighty post-dinner attention spans!

• Space – Having a corporate event in a space that’s a bit quirky or different? Great! Chat it through with us first so your act can best advise on where they should be positioned – they know best! Standing audiences, performances without stages and venues with pillars are notoriously challenging for corporate comedy sets, as is the dreaded dance floor in front of the stage. Fortunately, a lot of the large hotels have had enough comedians inside their walls to know how to set up a stage for speakers/performers – but we can always talk things through with your AV team if it’s helpful.

• Light and Sound – it sounds obvious but you need to make sure the comic can be seen and heard! Often the hotel PA system won’t be up to the job and general lighting though-out the room doesn’t highlight the artist as a focal point. If you’re in any doubt, we have great recommendations as to where you can lay your hands on the correct gear.

• Don’t give the audience vuvuzelas. Seriously.